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I have a feeling I'm going to look back on this time and remember just how awkward and uncomfortable it all was. How everything was falling a part the same time it as aligning and I tried to stretch my being so thin I cracked..
And I've cracked.
I have a feeling, a deep knowing, in fact- that 5 years from now I'll look back.
and with a deep reckoning and discernment I'll say, "I did it. Today. I chose Kayla May"
So I've decided.
I have a feeling that these moments, this very one. is meant for me to bury my head deep in the sand so I could learn once again what it's like not to breathe. To accept that some times it's not meant to be. Said or done, with eyes closed, rested spirit.
Acceptance that the darkness is a part of me as much as the light. I have that feeling.
Both light and dark.
In all honesty. I have lost sight.
Of who I am in the moving around of all the things. In the keeping up, and taking note, and organizing, and speaking out. I don't know where I stand with
Who is she? Who are they? Sino siya?
What do I want..what do I need.
unforgiving unapologetic rest. I need peace- Within myself
not to appease
I figured tonight I stretch out as long as I can.
What I can no longer serve,
And what no longer has access to me.